Grant (gman2404) wrote in the_pretentious,
Grant
gman2404
the_pretentious

How Pathetic Do You Have to Be?

In the search for the livejournal with the least class and the most desparation, the following communities and individuals ranked highly:

1. xslutxcorex

Nothing exudes desparation like a livejournal dedicated to self-professed "sluts." For one, even the pictures of "slutcore's" members are hideous, which of course should come as no surprise when you consider the type of person who uses livejournal to fulfill their sex life. Nonetheless, it gets worse: they actually go on to the message board and tell of their "fantastic" sexual exploits. Amazing how such "hardcore sluts" find time to type long, detailed accounts in between all those wild orgies. Not quite sure whats more sickening about that last part: the thought of someone making up a story like that, or the thought of the type of people who would actually attend that orgy.

2. "doceo" --Latin Teachers

Forget about a money-making profession, nevermind doing something worthwhile in life--you can become a Latin teacher with a classics degree that will earn you $0 for the rest of your life. Imagine the type of person who becomes a classics major, much less a Latin teacher. That's "doceo" for you right there: a community of single (and I can't emphasize that enough), middle-age, low class Latin enthusiasts who discuss, among other things, Catullus translations. I admit, I myself am a Latin student. But never would I consider becoming a latin teacher. And never would I join an online community of Latin teachers.

3. The lowest of them all: summerlite

Words, words cannot begin to describe the disgusting, low-class, sewer scum that is "summerlite." For those of you unaquainted with "summerlite," summerlite is one of many lj accounts held by a single person who stalks other people and invents ficticious friends, whom she then writes about in her livejournal(s). No one knows how long she spends doing this, how many countless hours she spends in front of the computer, her flabby stomach spilling over the edge of her fold-out metal chair, the dim lighting of her parents' basement, the candy bar wrappers and empty cans of frosting littered around her. Do I know she's fat? No. Do I know she's hideous? Not for sure. But could anyone honestly picture a decent-looking, thin (or just plain normal sized), intelligent, sane woman inventing online identities to compensate for the friends she never had and never will have? Of course not. Logic tells us what she must look like, how dumb she must be, and in a way, you almost want to feel sorry for her. But then you realize: you can only feel sorry for people you respect. Summerlite receives only my condescending pity.
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